Leaves from the Notebook of an Untamed Cynic

Voice still and small

2006-10-05T09:03:00.000-05:00

A tid bit of irony.

I am preaching at Soulful Sundown this Friday
on vocation...vocare (voice, calling)
and I lost my voice on Tuesday night.

My spin: Finding one's voice through the
multiplicity of voices that cloud and confuse
and pose as our own takes slowing down,
becoming still, becoming
quiet...listening.

Off to the ear, nose, and throat doc today.
The holy two-by-four strikes again ;)

We're live and podcasting!

2006-09-27T13:11:00.000-05:00

You can listen to my Coming Home sermon
on podcast
or from the website.

The reading was Luke 15:11-32.

Enjoy!

Miniature Earth

2006-09-25T18:56:00.000-05:00

Follow the link and click on English.

In Preparation...

2006-09-17T21:40:00.000-05:00

Sept 18th is Talk Like a Pirate Day

Get Ready!

My intense childhood study has prepared me for this day in adulthood.

Compare for yourself :)

Not a good sign

2006-09-12T21:04:00.000-05:00

Read the article here.

A wise wombat once said

2006-09-11T17:23:00.000-05:00

This

Kinda cute.

Thanks Janet.

Russell Bennett

2006-09-10T08:08:00.000-05:00

One of the Thirty-Six

Tireless advocate never gave up
The Rev. Russell L. Bennett, a
progressive and religious leader
whose influence and message
touched countless people, died
Sunday at the age of 69 after a
lengthy battle with cancer.

While Bennett was not wellknown
to all Tulsans, his tireless
work and dependable advocacy on
numerous fronts were strong forces
in many aspects of life in Tulsa.
He was among the founders and
served as president of the Tulsa
Interfaith Alliance, and also was
active in Tulsa Metropolitan Ministry
and many other causes.

After receiving degrees from
Occidental College in Los Angeles,
Harvard Divinity School and
McCormick Theological Seminary
in Chicago, Bennett set out on a
varied career, teaching and serving
in schools and churches in the
Philippines, Southern California,
and the Mojave Desert. In 1968,
he became pastor at Fellowship
Congregational Church in Tulsa,
where he stayed for 36 years, retiring
in 2004.

He was fearless about expressing
and defending his views about
Christianity, though he must have
known how controversial some of
those views were in such a conservative
part of the country. His
church was the first mainline
church in northeastern Oklahoma
to openly welcome gay men and
lesbians. He was a frequent speaker
and contributor to the letters-tothe-
editor column, expressing
views on a wide range of social
topics, from abortion to war to homosexuality
to creationism to separation
of church and state.

His comments at a 2004 postelection
conference were typical of
his courageous eloquence. “It
amazes me that the war is not
(viewed as) a moral issue,” he
said. “War in the Christian tradition
is always a last resort. That’s
not the case with the invasion and
occupation of Iraq.”
Accolades for Bennett’s leadership
were plentiful and appropriate.

“In many ways, he was the
conscience of our community,”
said Rabbi Charles Sherman of
Temple Israel. “No one cared
more for those who were hurting
or isolated or poor.”

“Bennett was a man who provided
quiet, courageous leadership in
Tulsa,” said Jim Mishler, executive
director of Tulsa Metropolitan
Ministry.

He is survived by his wife, Nancy
Bennett, son David Bennett of Korea,
daughter Sarah Bennett of
Tulsa, and two grandchildren.
Whether they know it or not,
Tulsans will miss Russell Bennett.
Few leaders have displayed, or
will display, the kind of courage
and compassion that came naturally
to him.

On Fire!

2006-09-08T10:06:00.000-05:00

Please don't try this at home.

The Trick

2006-08-30T08:32:00.000-05:00

Update

2006-08-29T07:56:00.000-05:00

Some things that have happened since my last post....

I turned 34.
I became the owner of my very own sewing machine.
(and bought the material for my first solo skirt project)
I was on the chancel with Carlton Pearson.
I listened to Rev. James Garrison speak.
I participated in a mini-rehearsal of an 8 part song with the Young Adult
Choir. (Incredible!)
I celebrated my birthday in person with my mother for the
first time since I was 15.
I co-lead a workshop on mission and vision at a Leadership Conference
at the church.
I spent some time with my brother.
I staffed a Tulsa University Campus Ministry Table.
I have eaten tapas, Cajun, and at a fish market.

For those of you who are fretting, this week is at less than
half of that pace.

I love my job.
I am so lucky.

On Wings of Eagles

2006-08-17T08:17:00.000-05:00

Not too long ago, I heard Rabbi Yechiel Z. Eckstein speak at a
fairly large and really conservative church here in Tulsa.
He was compassionate and doing work that he believes in very deeply.

I encourage interfaith dialogue and cooperation. I believe
that our liberal religious tradition calls us to do that work and I am
looking forward to working with organizations in Tulsa that promote cooperation and dialogue. It is the motivation of Rabbi Eckstein and the his supporters that make me nervous.

During his speech, and following an offering that raised $100,000,
Rabbi Eckstein said, "The Bible belt is the safety belt of Israel."

Rabbi Eckstein alluded to the fact that prophecy, Biblical prophecy,
is being fullfilled because Christians are funding the return of
Jews from all over the world to Israel. He even claims that the
lost tribes have been located and are being sent home.

The Rapture Index is going through the roof. It seems as though the modus operendi is to hurry up the second coming by assisting to fullfill the Christian fundamentalist interpretation of scripture. I know that many Jews are benefiting on an individual level and I am glad. I wonder though how they feel about of being pawns in a Fundamentalist Christian game of chess?

Gay Marriage: Broken or Blessed

2006-08-08T08:43:00.000-05:00

Have you heard this?

If not check it out here.

Makes you go hmmmm...

2006-08-07T22:05:00.000-05:00

Today in the Doctor's office
looking at an Xray...

Me: I don't have much of a curve in my neck.
Very Nice X-Ray Tech: No. You don't...It's almost a reverse curve.
Me: That's terrible. I'm too young to have a neck that looks like that.
VNXRT: Yes.... How old are you?
Me: Going to be 34.
VNXRT: Well, I've seen a man in his twenties with a neck like yours.
Me: Oh...Wow.
VNXRT: (PAUSE) Although he was run over by a semi.
me: Great...

It Felt Love

2006-08-07T08:54:00.000-05:00

How
Did the Rose
Ever Open its heart

And give to this world
All its Beauty?

It felt the encouragement of light
Against its
Being,

Otherwise,
We all remain

Too

Frightened.

~Hafiz

Naming Names

2006-08-06T07:16:00.000-05:00

NAMING NAMES
by Robert King

I love the words of the name red winged black bird
though my philosopher daughter tells me descriptions
are not real names. And oh I know how the words fail,
turning bright blue prairie blossoms to Spiderwort
a farmer calls Cow Slobber. And I know how lazy
and local we get, talking of buffalo berry, buffalo bird

and grass, Indian grass or fig. Someone called it
Indian bean, the broad catalpa, a tree I met in Kansas
as a child, that place that means the wind, wind people,
south-wind people, a tree whose sound meant flowers,

"head with wings," in the round mouths of the Creek,
a tree which is Bignonia, imagine, in New Latin, when

we wanted to be neutral as science and hence named
a tree for the Abbe Bignon, New Latin librarian
to Louis XIV, hence honoring air again. "Te amo"

my 8th grade girlfriend's friends dared Jayne to say
which didn't mean she loved me, since it was
another language. Later, I took Latin and by now

Miss Hixon's joined Marcus Aurelius who joined,
as he knew he would, three men he names
as learning from and of whom, a footnote says,

"nothing is known" and who, anyway, wrote in Greek
or, for all we know, water. Or the air. Might as well
be air, I've thought, language only a shape of lips.

In Mabel Hixon's Latin class, Gene sat heavily
beside me in his stained work-clothes, his face
a laborious puzzle over the text, the rest of us

wondering why he read, why he was even there.
At our 40th reunion, he turned out to own
the county's biggest truck farm, thank you,

planting food in Latin — a union of onions,
the radical roots of the radish — and other tongues,
tomat, batata, the ancient bha-bha of the bean,

the grains of corn gardeners first called maize,
and the people ate the names and they were good.
It doesn't matter we give every wind a name

that dies, Mabel and Marcus other people now.
This breathing sound is how we call, our only ways
to say te amo to the air and bring it back again,

te amo to the black bird with its red spot wing,
te amo tomato and rosy wort, and green grass grown
and Gene and Jayne and all the, all the names.

Native America Ad

2006-08-05T08:31:00.000-05:00

Selling Oklahoma and Tulsa to Surrounding States

Oklahoma's got soul...

Truelove

2006-08-01T08:29:00.000-05:00

I was given this poem yesterday by a
friend. It is so beautiful I wanted to share.

Oh and P.S. (for those who are keeping track)
TP woke this morning singing me a wonderous rendition
of "IT IS YOUR.....Birthday month...It is your Birthday month...
la, la, la, la, la la..It is your Birth-Day-MONTH."

****
The Truelove

There is a faith in loving fiercely
the one who is rightfully yours,
especially if you have
waited years and especially
if part of you never believed
you could deserve this
loved and beckoning hand
held out to you this way.

I am thinking of faith now
and the testaments of loneliness
and what we feel we are
worthy of in this world.

Years ago in the Hebrides
I remember an old man
who walked every morning
on the grey stones
to the shore of the baying seals,

who would press his hat
to his chest in the blustering
salt wind and say his prayer
to the turbulent Jesus
hidden in the water,

and I think of the story
of the storm and everyone
waking and seeing
the distant
yet familiar figure
far across the water
calling to them,

and how we are all
preparing for that
abrupt waking,
and that calling,
and that moment
we have to say yes,
except it will
not come so grandly,
so Biblically,
but more subtly
and intimately in the face
of the one you know
you have to love,

so that when we finally step out of the boat
toward them, we find
everything holds
us, and confirms
our courage, and if you wanted
to drown you could,
but you don’t

because finally
after all the struggle
and all the years,
you don’t want to any more,
you’ve simply had enough
of drowning
and you want to live and you
want to love and you will
walk across any territory
and any darkness,
however fluid and however
dangerous, to take the
one hand you know
belongs in yours.

~ David Whyte ~

(House of Belonging)

More on the Mental Boardroom

2006-07-31T07:43:00.000-05:00

Crooked Deals- Hafiz

There is
A madman inside of you
Who is always running for office-
Why vote him in,
For he never keeps the accounts straight.
he gets all kinds of crooked deals
Happening all over town
That will just give you a big headache
And glue to your kisser
A gigantic
Confused
Frown.

Bats and Fireflies

2006-07-29T21:46:00.000-05:00

Our Tulsa neighborhood is full
of bats and fireflies. The fireflies
are familiar old friends from my childhood.

The bats are something new for me.
The only bats I've ever seen are in Austin.

They were small and in pairs mostly and followed us on the
first half of our walk around dusk. They were small and beautiful
in flight.

Evidently bats in China are seen as symbols of happiness and
long life and the Mayans believed them to be symbols of
rebirth. Bats play a valuable role in nature.
They feed in insects and are essential to the pollination
of many plants. Even their waste is used as valuable fertilizer.
Bats are the only flying mammals. Bats serve as a symbol of promise
amidst the chaotic energies of change. It reflects the ability to move
to new heights with the transitions. Bats are social and live in flocks.
Seeing flocks of bats may reflect an increased opportunity for sociability.
Bats are experts at navigating through the dark. Bat medicine can assist
you in hearing the hidden meaning and implications in other's words.*

I embrace the many bats in our presence.
_
-
* excerpted from Animal Speak- Ted Andrews

Overheard in Oklahoma City

2006-07-28T20:11:00.000-05:00

At the end of the gas relief aisle in the pharmacy
section of a large grocery store chain...

Woman likely in her 40's looking more like 65
leaning over her basket like a walker:
"Well, it just don't get no better."

Man in an employee vest in his 30's who seems to know
the woman..."Yup."

Woman: "Arlene moved in. (long pause to emphasize the
disdain)

She's 7 months pregnant and she ain't never
gonna get no job....

Mark got a job but it don't pay squat.
(pause and a sigh)

I'm goin to be a drunk by the end of the month fer sure."

****
Makes me sad, tired, re-enforces my desire to speak out on
truth based sexual education, and causes the English teacher
member of my mental board room to twitch.

Morning Practice

2006-07-27T08:51:00.000-05:00

I hit the pool yesterday for the first time in a
very long time at 7 a.m. I had a fantastic
workout.

Afterwards, during my Qigong in the backyard
I kept hearing this weird grinding noise.
Turns out we have a very relaxed squirrel
who found something of substance to gnaw.

A Close Up:

My morning reading this morning was beautiful and
from Hafiz:

How do I listen?

How
Do I
Listen to others?
As if everyone
were my Master
Speaking to me
His
Cherished
Last
Words.

Southern Accent

2006-07-26T17:14:00.000-05:00

Consider me impacted by the land and my lineage.

Listen

Everything is bigger

2006-07-26T11:10:00.000-05:00

So, I was looking for a vet to
work with Angelou's Diabetes.

As I am waiting to make an appointment,
I read that the vet I have called only
works with small animals.

The receptionist comes back to the phone;

"Ok, so how about Monday?"

"That will work fine. I noticed on your
website that it says that you only serve
small animals. Do you work with dogs or are
you primarily a cat, hamster, bird kind of place?"

silence

"Ummm...yes we work with dogs."

"Oh, great..I just didn't know what you condsidered to
be large."

"Ummm...Cattle."

Large is so relative.

Oklahoma in July

2006-07-21T12:03:00.000-05:00

We are moved in.

I am greeted in the morning by birds singing
to the rhythm of a symphony of cicadas.

It is good to be home.

****

The heat is heavy.
The Cranberry Limeades are gud.
The church is welcoming.
The staff is amazing.
The house is coming together.
The Wild Oats is down the street.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder???

2006-07-16T20:31:00.000-05:00

We will have our internet up on the 20th.

Bare with me and check back. I miss this connection to
the world.

And I thought that the cable company was bad..

2006-07-06T13:57:00.000-05:00

Our movers were supposed to be hear at 11 a.m.
(an appointment NOT a window)

It is now 2 p.m. and they are still not here.

The only good thing about it:
it is time being killed with TP.

10 Things I will miss about Chicago...

2006-07-05T19:38:00.000-05:00

1. Friends

2. Oak Park Public Library main Branch (I know, not Chicago proper)

3. 59 Degree July Evenings

4. Meadville Lombard and the Monk Parakeets of Hyde Park

5. Yen Ta-Pho from Noodles, Etc (Wide rice noodles with Chittake mushrooms, spinach & tofu in flavorful tomato base broth) mmmmmm

6. Soul Vegetarian A Hebrew Israelite Vegan restaurant where they make the best vegan ribs, grilled cornbread, and actually sell my favorite cologne (a particular Nag Champa I have yet to find anywhere else).

7. Seeing a limousine and saying "Look! There's Oprah!"

8. Thrifting at the North Riverside Goodwill.

9. Living in a city near two IKEAs.

10. Running past beautiful Oak Park homes and gardens.

Happy Independence Day 2006

2006-07-04T16:11:00.000-05:00

Our National Anthem:

As rendered by Jerry Garcia, Bob Weir, and Vince Welnick
in Candlestick Park, San Francisco on April 12th, 1993

Site Meter

2006-07-02T09:50:00.000-05:00

Wanted to share with you something interesting I
learned reading my site meter statistics.

I am the first page hit on Google if you put in
"God is not the problem" in qoutes into Google
search.

For some reason that makes me oddly proud.

Starlings

2006-07-02T09:38:00.000-05:00

This is an amazing video of Starlings en masse.

What really concerns me is not Starling behavior but
human behavior.

After seeing this video, I googled
Starlings to find out more about them and fouund this.

I understand that he is a scientist AND
pictures 2, 8, and 9 and their captions make me VERY nervous.

What is he actually studying?

WWARD? (What would Ayn Rand Do?)

2006-07-01T19:44:00.000-05:00

In an article in TheTimesOnline (UK), Author Richard Dawkins discusses
his recent book The Selfish Gene.

Selfish or not so selfish? Depends on what level you ask the question..

You can read the whole article here.

My favorite paragraph for consideration (broken up here to be
easier on the eyes)...

"Another good alternative title would have been
The Cooperative Gene. It sounds paradoxically opposite,
but a central part of the book argues for a form of
cooperation among self-interested genes. This emphatically
does not mean that groups of genes prosper at the expense
of their members, or at the expense of other groups.

Rather, each gene is seen as pursuing its own self-interested
agenda against the background of the other genes in the
gene pool — the set of candidates for sexual shuffling within
a species. Those other genes are part of the environment in
which each gene survives, in the same way as the weather,
predators and prey, supporting vegetation and soil bacteria
are parts of the environment. From each gene’s point of view,
the “background” genes are those with which it shares bodies
in its journey down the generations.

In the short term, that means the other members of the
genome. In the long term, it means the other genes in the
gene pool of the species. Natural selection therefore sees to
it that gangs of mutually compatible — which is almost to
say cooperating — genes are favoured in the presence
of each other. At no time does this evolution of the
“cooperative gene” violate the fundamental principle of
the selfish gene.

If God invited you to a party

2006-07-01T12:56:00.000-05:00

If God
Invited you to a party
And said,

"Everyone
In the ballroom tonight
Will be my special Guest,"

How would you treat them
When you
Arrived?

Indeed, indeed!

And Hafiz knows
There is no one in this world

Who
Is not upon
His Jeweled Dance
Floor.

We Who Believe in Freedom Cannot Rest

2006-06-29T09:42:00.000-05:00

Sunday morning worship at General Assembly was fantastic!

Listen to the song before you read the sermon.

Read Gail Geisenheimer's Sermon here.

Or watch the entire thing here.

Exploring My Totem- OWL

2006-06-28T11:12:00.000-05:00

For those of you who may be fooled (as I was) by my blond hair
and light eyes I am 1/16 Creek and 1/16 Cherokee. (A friend of
mine with India Indian lineage told me jokingly "that made me
1/8 indigenous people") My lineage is flows through
2 women (both on my Father's side of the family).

When I return to Oklahoma, I plan to explore my heritage
further. In the meantime, my lifelong fascination with Native
American customs and practice continue to nurture me. I am
exploring the totem animals that are showing up in my life
now in the midst of life's current gifts of change.

They are: Owl, Dog/Wolf, Hawk, and Frog

I was reluctant to continue
to keep OWL as part of my totem
because it had not found me directly.

A Lakota friend of mine
honored me by his vision
of OWL all around me.

I was journaling about my hesitation to claim OWL
in my totem when Jill walked into the room with
an OWL wing in her hand that I had found 3 months ago,
cleaned, and had placed in my meditation space.

She looked at me puzzled. "This was on the floor,"
she said softly and laid it next to me where I
was writing. I have come to the conclusion that
OWL medicine is fitting on my best days.

***

Owl is the symbol of the feminine, the moon, a symbol of
higher wisdom. Known to have keen vision and hearing,
one with Owl medicine is likely to have a predominant
trait of being able to extract even the deepest of secrets.

Owls can adjust in an instant from a telescopic to a
microscopic focus and the Owl's eyes are keen to subtle
movements. The pupils respond in a fraction of a second
to very minute changes in light intensity. The many species
of Owl's with tufts of feathers that look like ears, have made
them symbolic of being able to hear what is not being said.

Those with OWL medicine will be able to see and hear what
others try to hide, and hear what is not being said. This
can make others uncomfortable. Owl people have a unique
ability to see into the darkness of others' souls and life.

Owls fly silently. The front edge of the wing has a fringe
that silences the flight, and allows them to fly slowly and
smoothly. Learning to use silence will benefit those with
OWL medicine and bring you the greatest
success.

Owls eating habits convey an ability for OWL people to take
in wisdom and energy, eliminating those aspects that are
unbeneficial and unhealthy.

Barn Owls: Heart shaped face reflects the ability to link the heart and the mind, resourceful, adaptable,

Barred Owl: Although they appear threatening,
they are harmless

Screech Owls: excellent hunters, cooperate to survive,
can show you how to be a fierce individual with an
ability to cooperate- maintaining individuality throughout.

Short-Eared Owl: hunts day or night, meticulously
builds its home and will migrate, flame-like feathers reflect
its fiery personality, has a 6th sense of being in opportune
places at opportune times, courageous and playful,versatile
and curious

Snowy Owl: hunts in full sunlight or total darkness,
hunts predominantly by sitting and waiting, conserve their
energy and are continually observant, going into action
whenever the opportunity presents itself, a sense of timing
is part of what the snowy owl can teach, knack for moving
to areas where food supplies will more likely be found.

When a snowy moves into a new area, it does not
proclaim its presence. It enters quietly and goes about
its own business. This is part of what makes it successful.
When it walks, its talons are withdrawn into its well-padded
feet. Again this reflects its ability to be non-threatening
in spite of its power and ability. It accomplishes tasks
with timing and skill not through intimidation.*

*All comments on OWL are paraphrased or taken directly
from Ted Andrews
Animal Speak

General Assembly 2006 St.Louis

2006-06-23T10:52:00.000-05:00

We're in St. Louis and TP and I had the opportunity to participate in the
opening ceremony.

You can watch it on Realplayer here. (We're at about 1:13:30)

Many of my classmates and I also received recognition for attaining Preliminary Fellowship at the Service of The Living Tradition.
Keep checking UUA.ORG for that video.

You know you are an adult when...

2006-06-17T15:45:00.000-05:00

You get excited about buying a washer and dryer.

WOOHOO!

Ripping for Jesus

2006-06-17T14:12:00.000-05:00

Number 1: This is frightening
Number 2: The kid is talented.
Number 3: I would love to work with liberal religious youth
with this kind of talent for worship videos.
***
Context:
I made this for my Youth Group. I'm not sure if im allowed to put this up, im not actually sure if it was legal for me to make what i made, i hope i didnt do a I made this for my Youth Group.. ohface485

Deep and Wide

2006-06-16T08:49:00.000-05:00

All learning is about how we interact in the world and the types of capacities that develop from our interactions. What differs is the depth of the awareness and the consequent source of action. If awareness never reaches beyond superficial events and current circumstances, actions will be reactions. If, on the other hand, we penetrate more deeply to see the larger wholes that generate "what is" andour own connection to the wholeness, the source and effectiveness of our actions can change dramatically. Presence- Senge, Scharmer, Jaworski, Flowers

Warning: I am about to rant.

Maybe I am off my rocker or maybe I just found my way onto my rocker.

This has come up over and over again for me in the past few months
and it is time to name it. I have recently become very clear about
the kind of contact that I want to foster in my life, that I want to
invest my time in. It is the kind of contact that requires both
parties to show up and be fully present. It requires both parties
to risk being vulnerable. And what comes from this kind of friendship
(or intimacy or contact or relationship) is the possibility of being
truly seen and heard by someone else (an Other)and the possibility
of really taking in (seeing and hearing) anOther. It is in this kind
of Rumi-Hafiz-Jung-Buddha-Jesus-Perls-Hindu inspired contact that I
find points closest to the Truth of the human experience.

And it is mystical, and it is powerful, and it is tangible,
and choice-full. And it is real.

I am becoming more mindful about how I act and react in the world.
Skimming the surface is no longer ok, and it is a good thing.

Forget to Remember

2006-06-12T18:34:00.000-05:00

I found an animated version
of the Billy Collins poem

Forgetfulness

Enjoy!

Norfolk...Sushi, Phone Calls, and the Ordinand

2006-06-11T09:02:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I arrived in Norfolk (pronounced Nor-F%&*K) by
the locals which I am still not used to).

Had yummy Sushi with Berez, strolled the boardwalk with the Neely's,
and walked barefoot in the Atlantic in VA Beach.

***
I also called TP at least 25 times.

I miss her and she doesn't know.

The Finnish people are...

2006-06-09T18:41:00.000-05:00

a loving people....

And it appears that the early 80's affected the entire world.
(Be sure to hang in there...the soul-less train is priceless)

Change and Chi

2006-06-04T23:04:00.000-05:00

Greetings, my persistant readers...

I was gone for a week at a Qigong retreat with Roger Jahnke.
I have graduated from seminary!
And now I am in Cleveland on week 4 out of 5 of Gestalt.

Here are pics of graduation 2006.

The qigong pics will come soon.

*****
update more pics

Theological Art

2006-05-28T12:53:00.000-05:00

This is soooo cool.

Spend at least a good 2-3 minutes on this.
It just gets more and more interesting the more you explore.

I celebrate creativity.

Rocky Horror Picture Show

2006-05-28T12:49:00.000-05:00

in 30 seconds, bunny style....

amusing.

Crawfish Surprise

2006-05-25T09:47:00.000-05:00

After a periless search for a Chicago crawfish boil to celebrate
Jill's graduation, birthday, and the crawfish season itself...
I ended up flying in crawfish from Louisiana.

Live crawfish, 60 lbs!

It was a cultural learning experience for most and fun was
had by all! See all the pictures here.

A special thank you to all of the vegetarians and past and present PETA
members who dealt with the slaughter/sacrifice to celebrate TP.

Happiness is...

2006-05-23T20:12:00.000-05:00

"It's the frequency and not the intensity of
positive events in your life that leads to happiness...."

read the whole article here.

My Gestalt reading seems to even suggest that we need
successions of positive event with gaps in between in
order to form a coherent pattern or trend.

I am interested in what you think.

Play it again and again..30 sec each

2006-05-23T20:09:00.000-05:00

I love Casablanca.

And found this to be quite amusing.

The Land of Squeaky Cheese

2006-05-22T08:56:00.000-05:00

We have returned from a brief trip to the land of
squeaky cheese, Fish fry-fridays, Saturday morning
farmers/artist markets, state street, nice people,
morrel mushrooms, and cute nasal-y accents.

A great time was had by all.

I am keenly aware of the fact that our friends are about to
be scattered like seeds in the wind.

TP bought a beautiful necklace for me that looks like
what I would imagine to be the origin of the universe
encapsulated in a 2 x 3 inch glass square.
(Artist: Scott Summey)

It is beautiful and reminds me of dramatic new beginnings.

Paying Attention

2006-05-18T08:52:00.000-05:00

I have been sick with a sinus infection.
I wiped the dust from the t.v. and
spent the entire day bombarded by the
media.

I cannot believe that America spends 8 hours a
day on average in front of the television.

It saddens me so to see all of that attention
spent on an electronic box instead of children,
or friends, or partners, creativity, or nature.

The t.v. doesn't listen.

A BIG LOVE

2006-05-17T10:25:00.000-05:00

Last week, Sienna Lavanhar was playing in a sprinkler, hitting a pinata and eating cake with 12 friends at her third birthday party.

During the night last Friday, with almost no warning, the daughter of All Souls Unitarian minister Marlin Lavanhar and his wife, Anitra Lavanhar, stopped breathing as she lay between her parents in the bed in which she was born.

She died as they administered CPR and called 911.

“She was beautiful, bold, playful, full of laughter, athletic and a joy to be around,” her devastated father said. “Her love will continue to touch people far and wide.”

Sienna became ill last week, but in several visits to the pediatrician, doctors found nothing to be alarmed about, Lavanhar said.

“It turns out that Sienna had a virus that for some unknown reason attacked her heart,” he said. “These situations are extremely rare and almost impossible to detect. The doctors are trying to determine what they can about why it happened.

“We, on the other hand, are not trying to decipher why she died from a theological sense. There is no answer to that question that could possibly fill the hole in our hearts,” he said.

“We are simply trying to navigate the long road of healing that is ahead of us and doing all we can to make sure her love continues to shine through us and all who knew her.”

Lavanhar said his family’s tragedy has been eased by the support of the community.

“The incredible outpouring of support for my family from the religious communities of Tulsa across many faiths and denominations … is helping us shoulder the overwhelming pain and emptiness that we feel,” he said.

“A tragedy like this touches all of us as human beings and transcends all differences of religion and theology. It feels like a small town and as if the entire town is grieving with us,” he said.

“My wife and I have never felt such despair, nor have we ever felt so much love and support,” Lavanhar said. “To be experiencing both at the same time will change us forever.”

A memorial service for Sienna will be held at 4 p.m. Friday at All Souls Unitarian Church, 2952 S. Peoria Ave. Overflow parking and shuttle service will run from the B’nai Emunah parking lot at 17th Street and Peoria Avenue.

Unitarian Universalist clergy members from across the country, including the Rev. Bill Sinkford, president of the Unitarian Universalist Association, will attend the service.

The nursery will be open, and programming for preschool and elementary-age children will be offered during the service, with age-appropriate memorial activities and discussion by professional grief therapists, according to Kathy Keith, executive director of the church and a religious educator in the congregation for 13 years.

“Many Unitarian Universalists believe it is our lives that count more than our beliefs,” she said. “Our children’s programming will emphasize that and the concept that the loss of any person to death should strengthen our hold on life, helping us to live more thoughtfully, more kindly and more fully in whatever time we have on earth.”

In addition to her parents, Sienna is survived by a brother, Elias; and her grandparents, Patricia Lavanhar of Las Vegas, Martin and Caroline Lavanhar of Tuxedo, N.Y., Anju Myodo of Livermore Falls, Maine, and Samuel Gugliotta of Korea.

Weeping and Pain

2006-05-07T08:59:00.000-05:00

I have been dealing with excruciating back pain since
Thursday and have spent nearly the entire weekend in bed
with a heating pad. Thanks to the miracles of acupuncture
and massage I was able to spend a couple of hours each
evening enjoying Folk Music in the area. I will see the
chiropractor on Monday and if there is no relief I'll head
to the U of C Hospital on Tues or Wed.

I heard Mary Gauthier (who was great!)for an hour or so
on Friday night thanks to the gift of tickets from a friend
and I went last night to see the Weepies.

They are called the Weepies because they noticed that
all of their good friends had something in common:
they all weep more often than most, at beauty
as well as in sadness...They weep at truth.
They were fantastic and just what I needed to remind
me of the beauty and creativity in this world even in the
midst of the distraction of pain.
Both physical and emotional

My colleague lost his beautiful 3 year old child very early Saturday morning.
My heart is heavy and there are no words of relief.
Last night, I needed the music as an opportunity for prayer.

Interestingly, I woke up yesterday morning after a jolting dream,
whose details are unimportant, but that left me with
some cohesion to my own theology and resonated deeply as I
discovered soon after that a child in my life had died.

Those of us who have chosen the path of liberal religion are in fact taking
an even more sizable leap of faith than I ever previously realized.
In a world where suffering, hatred, oppression, and the unknown
are constantly present and struggling for our attention...
the leap of faith is to commit to love,
the leap of faith is to remember beauty and creativity,
the leap of faith is to commit to hope.

My whole being cries out for the family, the church, and the
community who will be grieving the unthinkable: the sudden death of a child.
Nearing Mother's Day, I weep for this child and for all children
whose deaths are never expected.

In the valley of the shadow of death,
walking hand in hand with anger and grief,
may they find comfort in those who surround and support them,
may they have ears to hear the music of love and grace.

This is the spiritual practice of the religious liberal
where a commitment to God, a commitment to being religious,
is a commitment to love and beauty,
to creativity and hope,
even at a time of immense pain and tragedy.

Theory of Knowledge

2006-05-04T09:43:00.000-05:00

Greetings!

My absence from the blooging sphere has been due to
the grading of 215 Theory of Knowledge Essays from around the
globe.

I used to teach Theory of Knowledge in Garland, TX.
(So did TP, BTW)

I thought you mind find the topics interesting.
You can find out more about the program and their
definitions of Areas of Knowledge and Ways of Knowing here.

I have long dreamed of a Unitarian Universalist International Baccalaureate Boarding School....still dreaming..

The questions:
1 There are many different authorities, including academics, politicians, global organizations and companies, who make knowledge claims. As an experienced TOK student, what criteria do you use to distinguish between knowledge, opinion and propaganda?

2 “Tell me how you’re conducting your search and I’ll tell you what you’re looking for.” To what extent do the methods used in different Areas of Knowledge determine the scope of the research and the conclusions you can reach?

3 Statistics can be very helpful in providing a powerful interpretation of reality but also can be used to distort our understanding. Discuss some of the ways in which statistics can be used or misused in different Areas of Knowledge to assist and mislead us, and how we can determine whether to accept the statistical evidence that is presented to us.

4 To what extent do personal attributes affect Ways of Knowing and why, if at all, does answering this question matter in the first place?

5 Do questions like “Why should I be moral?” or “Why shouldn’t I be selfish?” have definitive answers as do some questions in other Areas of Knowledge? Does having a definitive answer make a question more or less important?

6 If being educated means learning to see through the clichés of one’s time, how does learning in the different Areas of Knowledge and in TOK contribute to becoming educated?

7 Some people say that religious beliefs can be neither justified nor refuted by reason. However, while sometimes this claim is used as a reason for rejecting religious beliefs, at other times it is used to conclude that these beliefs are established by faith.
To what extent is faith a legitimate basis for knowledge claims, in religion and different Areas of Knowledge?

8 Arthur Eddington noted that an ordinary view of the world, one “which spontaneously appears around me when I open my eyes” is “a strange compound of external nature, mental imagery and inherited prejudice” (Sir Arthur Eddington, The Nature of the Physical World, 1928). How accurate a description is this of everyday experience?

9 Compare and contrast knowing a friend to knowing how to swim, knowing a scientific theory and knowing a historical period. What conclusions about the nature of knowledge can you reach?

10 Sometimes we hear reasoned arguments that oppose a view to which we are emotionally committed; sometimes we hear a passionate plea for a view we have good reason to reject. Bearing this in mind, discuss the importance of reason and emotion in distinguishing between belief and knowledge.

Tulsa!

2006-04-25T18:02:00.000-05:00

A city diverse enough to fulfill your wildest dreams?
Well, even if it's not I still love it!

Tulsa..viewed by a rap star ;)

Your Reaction?

2006-04-21T17:27:00.000-05:00

This is facinating!

Meadville Lombard Vespers Calling 4/19

2006-04-20T07:44:00.000-05:00

Last night I was the worship associate for Bill Neely at
Vespers. The seniors cover Vespers all Spring. Last week
was Roger Mohr, and next week will be Linda Berez. I preach
the first Wednesday in May.

I wrote this Call to Worship for Neely's service:

I have seen the Holy
in your eyes seeing the world
seeing me
Seen glimpses in the sky,
in the mirror,
on calloused hands and unskinned knees.

I have heard the Holy
in the silence of being heard
traces in song, and in stillness,
in the rhythm of breath and heartbeat.

I have felt the Holy
on Wednesdays, and Sundays, and many days
Glimpses in the morning and at night,
outside and inside temples,
In places like this
among faces such as these.

Come let us seek the Holy together.
Welcome to worship.

Please Don't Try this at home

2006-04-19T07:43:00.000-05:00

Ok.

Watch the video BEFORE you scroll down.

Now that is a foodie adventure.

Happy Easter!

2006-04-16T09:09:00.000-05:00

Three items I would like to share this Spring Mourn:

1. Good grief look at this bunny!

2. She is risen! Angelou is on 23 units of insulin
morning and night and is beginning to look/act herself
again.

3. Read this article (see page 4)
in All Souls Tulsa newsletterSimple Gifts...
they even quote Jill... :)

More Ordination Photos

2006-04-14T10:02:00.000-05:00

Look Here

Ordination Photos 1

2006-04-13T14:57:00.000-05:00

enjoy!

2006-04-12T20:39:00.000-05:00

The bread and chalice slide along the table....

COOL

OUR GREATEST FEAR

2006-04-12T14:17:00.000-05:00

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure!
It is our Light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are born to make manifest the Glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us. It's in everyone.
And as we let our own Light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fears,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

-- Marianne Williamson
(in her book "A Return to Love" )

Pie in the Sky

2006-04-10T19:18:00.000-05:00

I have been reading Young Adult Fiction for
a course I am taking.

I must say that I cannot tell the difference between
Young Adult fiction and Adult Fiction other than the
ages of most of the characters. The themes are just as
profound.

“Addie feels that everyone should be entitled
to everything. That is the American way, she says.
But, I look all around me and I see people wanting
just a little piece of something, not the whole pie,
and coming up shortchanged even then, and I do not
see them being dealt a hand. Some people get a royal
flush and some get a pair of deuces. And some people
get nothing but a string of cards that no matter how
they are played will never add up to a winning hand.”
The Misfits

Somehow this lands on me heavily...
like a juncture between existentialism and determinism.
My leaning is that we need to rethink
what a winning hand looks like and yet...
it seems everyone has unconsciously agreed to the
rules of the game.

Instructions

2006-04-09T11:35:00.000-05:00

Instructions

Give up the world; give up self; finally, give up God.
Find god in rhododendrons and rocks,
passers-by, your cat.
Pare your beliefs, your absolutes.
Make it simple; make it clean.
No carry-on luggage allowed.
Examine all you have
with a loving and critical eye, then
throw away some more.
Repeat. Repeat.
Keep this and only this:
what your heart beats loudly for
what feels heavy and full in your gut.
There will only be one or two
things you will keep,
and they will fit lightly
in your pocket.

Sheri Hostetler is the pastor of First Mennonite Church
of San Francisco. She was an editor of a magazine published
for the “liberal fringe” of her faith tradition,called
Mennonot,which published articles supporting the right
of women to be clergy and the right of gays and lesbians
to belong to a Mennonite congregation.

Diabetes or Cancer?

2006-03-29T07:45:00.000-06:00

I have read page after page on the internet
I think it is likely canine diabetes or cancer.

She started vomiting this morning.
We will have test results this afternoon.
I never thought I would be praying for diabetes.

She was one darn cute puppy.

********************
I AM SO GLAD
Start seeing everything as God
But keep it a secret
Become like a man who is awestruck
and nourished, listening to a golden nightingale
sing in a beautiful foreign language
while god nests invisibly upon it's tongue.
Hafiz, who can you tell in this world
That when a dog runs up to you
wagging it's ecstatic tail,
you bend down and whisper in it's ear
'Beloved, I am so glad that you are happy to see me,
Beloved, I am so glad, so very glad, that you have come.' ~Hafiz

Ill Angel

2006-03-28T21:16:00.000-06:00

This is our
Lou Lou Dog.
Her name is
Angelou...as in Maya.

This is her...healthy.
She has lost 11 pounds
and we are awaiting blood tests.

.
.
.
.
.If you are a petitionary prayer kind of people,
please pray for her health and our strength.

She is only 6 years old and has brought us so much joy.

Our Nation's Capital

2006-03-24T08:18:00.000-06:00

Following a lunch with some friends on Tuesday,
We saw a man, on his knees on the sidewalk in what was
obvious distress.

I couldn't walk by.

Well, I insisted we called 911 and while my friend from DC was on the phone I went over and talked to the man in distress. He was intoxicated and had obviously thrown up. As soon as I went over to let him know we were calling to get him some medical assistance, he stood up and insisted that he was fine and just hungry. When he stood up, my friend cancelled the 911 call. His take in the moment was that he had seen something similar before as a way of attracting accelerated/more impactful attention.

I admit I was conflicted and that this experience impacted me. I believe I am city savvy and am aware that there are all kinds of ways to alter one's impact in order to survive...and still I believe that this man needed help. He needed more than prayers, and food, and medical care, and a place to stay. His eye was infected, he had thrown up, he had no place to go.

I hate our health care/mental care/homeless care system. It is so inadequate. He needed more than I or we could offer him in that moment. I walked away with discomfort about my own priorities and lack of power/impact in his situation. I believe (I pray) in a city where I serve as a minister I would have had more resources to assist him, by at least being knowledgeable about the support network that exists outside the government response.

I strongly believe that more people have similar conflicting responses than one might initially think. Although, many choose to desensitize themselves for whatever reason, I am convinced that if they had a clear understanding of how they could assist...that they would.

The Hebrew word for sin comes from the root of the verb to forget...my take on that is that when we forget that we are all connected, we dehumanize and seperate ourselves from each other. We are all part of an intricate and interdependent web of this existence, when we forget we do in fact sin against ourselves...against the other person..against our nature (and my take: "and therefore our God").

It is a constant struggle to stay in the moment and not miss the mark. When I am discouraged, I try at least to not forget: to let the experience of my action/non-action impact me in the fullest so that maybe next time I will choose to/be able to respond differently.

DC Bolgger Hospitality

2006-03-21T10:33:00.000-06:00

Chalicechick invited me to share a meal with her partner, a frirnd from RiverRoad and Boy in the Bands.It was definitely an interesting evening! Thanks again for dinner ;)

I have been uber-impressed overall with how kind DC-ites
have been...even to the blatantly obvious tourist on the street.

EG,

TP and I exit a Metro station and are looking around with a map
in the area I now know has been dubbed "The Fruit Loop"
A very tall police officer approaches us.
"Can I help you find something?"

We are unusually unprepared...I beam at him and pause and say,
"Well, this may sound ridiculous but we are looking for
a sushi restaurant off the circle and I don't know the name

[longer pause and goofy ridiculous smile..waiting to berejected]

...it starts with an S."

He pulls out a restaurant guide which we peruse together.
We locate the restaurant regardless of my lack of information
and he pleasantly sends us on our way with perfect directions.

I am blown away.

In Chicago...well, you imagine that scenerio in Chicago... OW.

Tired

2006-03-20T14:46:00.000-06:00

I'm still in DC.

And I'm working like mad.

More DC Pics

2006-03-17T06:12:00.000-06:00

More Pics

Indivisible..again

2006-03-17T06:03:00.000-06:00

I met with Rev. Rob Hardies today at All Souls DC.
This was a track on the brochure rack:

Religion in our Personal Lives

Religion is indivisible. It is not possible
to get the benefit of what we call religion in
our personal lives unless we are willing for
religion throughout our lives.

The tensions of the world cannot be walled out as
though religion were not concerned with them. Nor
can religion help us inwardly if we repel its claim
to righteousness in what we do outside us.

The personal life is merely the focus of the total life,
and unless religion goes out to the circumference it
cannot unify us at the center.

~A. Powell Davies

Lousy At Math

2006-03-16T11:42:00.000-06:00

Lousy At Math

Once a group of thieves stole a rare diamond
larger than two goose eggs.
Its value could have easily bought 3000
horses and 3000 acres of the mist fertile
land in Shiraz.

The thieves got drunk that night to celebrate
their great haul, but during the course of the
evening the effects of the liquor, and their
mistrust of each other grew to such an extreme...
they decided to divide the stone into pieces.
Of course the pricelessness became lost.

Most everyone is lousy at math and does that
to God--dissects the Indivisible One
by thinking, by saying
"This is my Beloved, he looks like this and
acts like that, how could that moron over
there really be God?"
~Hafiz

Our Fair Capitol

2006-03-15T08:15:00.000-06:00

We arrived!
(Doesn't she
look patriotic?)

Here are the rest if
you are interested.

The monument shots
are for my mom!

Everything is pretty recoginzable.
There are a few of the new World War II memorial,
some of the Korean War Memorial, and a few of the
Vietnam War Memorial.

Enjoy!

Chocolate for breakfast

2006-03-14T07:10:00.000-06:00

I feel like Eliza Doolittle.

I discovered about a week ago, that Chicago houses
several of my very most favorite chocolate shops in
the world: Leonidas.
The best pralines EVEER.

When I lived in Belgium, I would always take a box when
I was invited to dinner as a gift and every time I travel
to Europe, I try to track one down.I had NO idea that they
were in Chicago. And it is likely a
good thing or I would be much ROUNDER.

For breakfast this morning I had a praline and coffee.
TO DIE FOR. C'etait merveilleux!

TP and I are leaving for DC today. I am taking my camera so
stay tuned for cheesey tourist photos.

Religious Rapport

2006-03-12T21:56:00.000-06:00

If you haven't seen this, you should.

We are everywhere, lately.

Allergens and Old Poems

2006-03-12T17:00:00.000-06:00

I have survived the anaphalaxic reaction to buckwheat
with the nurturing care if TP and in some way feel born again
grateful for the absence of nausea.
(although I would wish this on no one)

Surprisingly helpful during the crisis was my heart rate monitor
I use for running.
I'll still have the hive-like rash for a few days I am sure.

I now know my list of allergins include:
Penicillin
Sulfa Drugs
Buckwheat
Mold
Mites
Dust
Trees (of just about any kind, although I hug them anyway)
Cats
and surprisingly enough
Dogs (at least my allergist says so)

My allergist and I have great heart to hearts regarding
"quality of life", which essentially means I tell him that I
would rather have allergies and dogs than no allergies and
no dogs...and then he writes me a prescription.
****

Jill is reading old journals which she does as part of her
morning practice. I used to do this to and haven't in a
while so I tried to drudge up the oldest one I could find.

I discovered two things:

1. My life from 1988-2001 (before The Artist's Way)
is documented in only a few poetry books that are falling apart.

2. I found this poem, which I barely remember writing when Jill
was in Armenia.

July 30, 2001

I have painted the French doors
and the window sills of our old house for you.
Every stroke a memory, a mantra
in whitewash, mocha, and red
covering the shadows in our familiar home.
I pictured you painting the baseboards alone and wept.
I smiled at us covered in mustard and gold.

In my mind hangs a portrait of two goddesses
with sagging breasts
suckled by many an ungrateful lover,
yet beautiful.

If I were an artist,
I'd paint a garden and two old women in big straw hats
Squinting in the sunlight, wrinkled and smiling,
Planting their memories in the soil.

If I were an artist, I'd sculpt my emotions in clay
Sketch my desires in ink, and charcoal my heart out for you.

Speechless

2006-03-11T08:27:00.000-06:00

Ok, ya'll.

Try to tackle this one.

This makes me sad on sooo many levels.*

(Thanks for the link Jeremy)

"Unitarian Universalism is neither religious nor a religion, discuss amongst yourselves."**

Update/Clarification-
* I am reacting here to the pang of truth in the parody not about this character but about this character's experience of UU which I think is a common experience of many churches in our movement.

** I am reacting here to a twinge of familiarity heard in my own assessment of our movement: a lack of a theological center (especially putting the idol of THE CHURCH at the center of one's religion) and yet am very uncomfortable with the tone, disdain, and`approach.

You scratch my back...

2006-03-06T10:37:00.000-06:00

Back-Scratcher

The fall from grace,
the great disruption of primordial order, the original sin,
had nothing to with eating apples or talking to snakes.
The instrument of our fall was a wooden back-scratcher,
that piece of wood,
bent at the end so once can reach the unreachable spot--
there, between the shoulder blades,
down a little bit lower,
now up a little bit,
there where the most persistent itch always takes up residence.
Before the back-scratcher,
before that simple, infernal device,
we, like all our primate kin,
depended on others to do for us what we could not do for ourselves:
“You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.”
Before the back-scratcher,
before that simple, infernal tool,
we needed each other to scratch the unreachable itch.
The wooden back-scratcher dissolved the bonds of reciprocity,
unloosed the ties of community,
and tempted us to believe in our own godlike self-sufficiency.
And God walked in the cool of the garden,
and saw a primate standing alone.
“What have you done,” God asked, “that you stand alone?”
“I have found a back-scratcher,” said the beast, “and now I need no one.”
“Poor beast, “ said God, “now you must leave this garden:
“In Eden, no one stands alone; each depends on the others.”
And thus began our wandering, our pacing up and down the earth,
scratching our own itches, pretending self-sufficiency,
trying to ignore the persistent sense of loss,
the vague yearning for a primordial order,
a world where you scratched my back and I scratched yours.
A wooden back-scratcher is poor compensation for the gentle touch of a living hand.
~Rev. David Bumbaugh

Funerals and the Pray-trade

2006-03-05T07:41:00.000-06:00

TP and I just finished reading Missing May by Cynthia Rylant
out loud to each other. I am struck by the fact that the books
I am reading that are supposed to be Young Adult Fiction are
actually heavier tastier denser than most adult fiction I have
read lately. They are dripping in gooey rich metaphor. They
tackle the big stuff head on.

Here's something that stood out for me in Missing May.

"[telling May's story in the garden] in some ways was more
comfort,more real, to me than May's true funeral had been.
Seems once people bring in outsiders who make a career of
bereavement-undertakers, preachers- their grieving gets turned
into a kind of system, like the way everybody lines up the same
way to go into a movie or sits the same way in a doctor's office.
All Ob wanted to do when we lost May was hold on to each other
and wail in that trailer for days and days. But we never got the
chance, because just like there are certain ways people expect you
to get married, or go to church, or raise kids, there are certain ways
people expect you to grieve. When May died, Ob and me had to
talk business with the preacher, and make small talk with
dozens of relatives and people we'd hardly seen before. We had
to eat their food. We had to let them hug us. We had to see them
watching our faces for any kind of nervous breakdown.

So standing there in that bleak and empty garden listening to Ob
make May alive again, that seemed to fix something in me that had
needed fixing ever since the funeral. And in the oddest way Cletus
became what we'd needed all along from the undertaker and preacher
and visiting relatives. He became the perfect consoler, because he
listened to every word Ob said and kept his fat mouth shut. Cletus
had some gifts- I was learning this bit by bit- and knowing when to
talk and when not to was turning out to be one of them."

I guess you won't mind

2006-03-04T09:01:00.000-06:00

Great lions can find peace in a cage,
But we should only do that
as a
last
resort.

So these bars I see that restrain your wings,
I guess you won't mind
if I pry them
open. ~Rumi

Life Everlasting

2006-03-03T09:51:00.000-06:00

I just finished Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbitt.

This was what stood out for me. I think I'd like
it read at my memorial service (FYI).

The rowboat slipped from the bank then, silently, and
glided out , tall water grasses whispering away from its
sides, releasing it. Here and there the still surface of
the water dimpled, and bright rings spread noiselessly
and vanished....He dragged on the oars.
The rowboat slowed and began to drift gently toward the
farthest end of the pond.

"Know what that is all around us, Winnie?" said Tuck, his
voice low. "Life. Moving, growing, changing, never the same
two minutes together. This water, you look out at it every
morning, and it looks the same,
but it ain't. All night long it's been moving,
coming in through the stream back there to the west,
slipping out through the stream down east here, always
quiet, always new, moving on. You can't hardly see the
current, can you? And sometimes the wind makes it look like
it's going the other way. But it's always there, the water's
always moving on, and someday, after a long while, it comes
to the ocean."

They drifted in silence for a time. The bullfrog spoke again,
and from behind them far back in some reedy, secret place, another
bullfrog answered.

"Know what happens then?" said tuck. "To the water? The sun sucks
some of it up right out of ocean and carries it back in clouds,
and then it rains, and the rain falls into the stream, and the
stream keeps moving on, taking it all back again. It's a wheel,
Winnie. Everything's wheel, turning and turning never stopping.
The frogs is part of it, and the bugs, and the fish, and the wood
thrush, too. And people. But never the same ones. Always coming
in new, always growing and changing, and always moving on. That's
the way it's suppose to be. That's the way it is."

Can you become such a King?

2006-03-02T07:51:00.000-06:00

Dear Readers...

I am swimming* in Rumi for the moment.
Please bare with me and enjoy.

I want the kind of grace from God
that when it hits
I won't get off the floor for days. And when finally I
do stagger into a semblance of poise
I will still need a cane and shoulder to help me walk,
and I will need great patience from any who try
to decipher my slurred speech.

You should forget about knowing the Friend
unless you are willing to kiss the world with
great abandon.

Locked like a pair of dogs openly making love in the streets,
impervious to shouts and pails of water being thrown
and glares from eyes that pass.

Can you become such an
ego-less
king?

*edited from previous, see comments

Rowing the Boat

2006-02-28T08:01:00.000-06:00

THAT LIVES IN US

If you put your hands on this oar with me,
they will never harm another, and they will come to find
they hold everything you want.

If you put your hands on this oar with me, they would no longer
lift anything to your
mouth that might wound your precious land –
that sacred earth that is your body.

If you put your soul against this oar with me,
the power that made the universe will enter your sinew
from a source not outside your limbs, but from a holy realm
that lives in us.

Exuberant is existence, time a husk.
When the moment cracks open, ecstasy leaps out and devours space;
love goes mad with the blessings, like my words give.

Why lay yourself on the torturer’s rack of the past and the future?
The mind that tries to shape tomorrow beyond its capacities
will find no rest.

Be kind to yourself, dear – to our innocent follies.
Forget any sounds or touch you knew that did not help you dance.
You will come to see that all evolves us.

~ Rumi ~

(Love Poems From God: Twelve Sacred Voices from the East and West by Daniel Ladinsky)

The Power of Cheese

2006-02-27T08:28:00.000-06:00

These just aren't words you are reading.
If you churn them, you could have some good cream.

If you kept working with my poems,
you could open up a shop and sell the finest butter.

If you fell in love with Rumi
you could give gainful employment to your family
and have fun together hawking my wonderful cheese.
-Rumi "Gainful Employment"

****

Love is... the manna from heaven.

And on that note:

"Their thirst quenched, the people next complain of
hunger and Yahweh obliges them with a miraculous rain of
bread from the sky. The people marvel at the frostlke wafers,
asking each other 'What (Heb. man) is this?' Thus they name the
bread man, 'manna.' This tradition stems from a natural
phenomenon of the desert. The tamarisk bush
which grows in parts of teh Sinai penninsula, is infested
with scale insects that suck its sap, some of which is
excreted in globules that crystallize in the sun and fall
to the ground. This sticky substance is rich in carbohydrates
and sugars and can support the life of a starving wanderer
(-> Manna. It is called mann by the modern inhabitants
of the Sinai, who regard it as a gift from God"
-Harper Collins Bible Commentary Exodus 16.

Sacraments and the Holy

2006-02-26T08:03:00.000-06:00

I once spoke to my friend the squirrel,
about the Sacraments-
he got so excited
and ran into a hollow in his tree
and came back holding some acorns,
an owl feather,
and a ribbon he had found.

And I just smiled and said, "Yes, dear,
you understand:
everything imparts His grace."
St. Francis of Assisi

****

Undifferentiated presence,
spontaneously arising before heaven and earth,
still and silent,infinite,virtual,
eternally present
through interminable cycles.
It gives birth to the Cosmos,
It is impossible to name,
so I call it pure boundless immensity.
-LaoZi, Dao De Jing, #25

Thrifting as a spiritual practice

2006-02-24T09:03:00.000-06:00

I know. It isn't what you might consider a normal practice.
It's like a treasure hunt.

Somehow, it has been ingrained in me that when I thrift store
shop...there is a particular something waiting for me.

Since I have had to convert my entire wardrobe over 5 times
while on internship, I have become somewhat of an expert.
Coupled with my desire to thrift, is my newfound desire
to own as little as possible. So, that makes me spend a
little more on really nice stuff at the thrift store.

Cases in point:

On my recent visit to Oklahoma City, I scored an AMAZING
leather jacket: fitted, stylish, soft...
downright buttery. ($27)

At the same time, I also scored what I believe to be my
best find yet. I am from Oklahoma. I love Oklahoma.
I have for some reason however been averse to the cowboy boot.
It isn't that I don't like them per se,it is that I wanted
a pair that fit my style, my personality, that screamed ME.

Well, folks. I found them. New in a dusty box, tags on them,
13 years old. Rainbow (yes, I said rainbow) stitching,
with an eagle on the front, back and over the side of the foot,
mahogany brown, never worn...waiting for me.
The cost $27(again) The find: priceless!

I took pictures to share. Enjoy!

I sooo strut in these... :)

Coming Home

2006-02-23T10:52:00.000-06:00

(Sermon offered at First Unitarian Oklahoma City January 29th, 2006.)

Every Sunday morning growing up, my father would load me into our Blue Plymouth Road Runner, or plop me into a milk crate bungee corded to the back of his 3 speed bicycle and we would head to the donut shop. My father would have coffee and we would both have donuts. This sugary communion was a ritual we never missed. One particular Sunday, my parents slept in much later than usual. I knew that I was not to wake my parents and I also knew that it was late morning and that I was supposed to go to breakfast. So, I gathered my mother’s woven purse that was about as big as I was and headed out the door.
Not yet 4 years old, I walked nearly a mile up 32nd street accross Classen boulevard to Dunkin Donuts.

I remember crossing the street. I remember a lady behind the counter who I didn’t recognize taking my money, and serving me my donut and juice. After finishing my breakfast, I gathered up the coffee and donut for my dad and made the return trip. I remember very vividly the honks of cars crossing the street (one of my first few memories). I remember feeling proud and tired as I made my way back When I made it home, I quietly went inside not to wake my parents. I put my dad’s coffee and donut in the kitchen, and went to my room to play. No one would have known what had happened had it not been for the evidence: a luke-warm cup of coffee, a squeezed strawberry jelly donut in a bag and the absence of change from the last $20 in my mother’s purse. I imagine my parents piecing together the puzzle of had happened…completely freaked out, in utter disbelief…Where have you been? Did someone go with you?We are so glad you are ok. That you are safe and at home.

How on earth did I know the way there and the way home? I wish that we all had a homing device to find the place where we belong, where we are loved and valued and missed. Studies show that most people can remember the exact address of the homes that they lived in when they were 3 or 4. No matter how old you are…you likely carry a picture of your childhood home with you. I am sure that if I asked, Each one of you could walk me through, likely in detail. I can still see the green shag carpet that my mom would rake…the funky yellow orange patterned linoleum. and the tire swing in the back yard.

To be human is to long to belong. At the same time that I want to believe in an all forgiving God of love…my God given sense of justice is pretty important in sorting out the meaning in my life. Certainly, in the story we know as the prodigal son, Jesus was not saying thou shalt enable and be walked upon…I am lead to believe that there is wisdom in this story…something that resonates from 2000 years ago with the human condition even now. This story points the way to an experience that I have had, that I you have likely had, too: I am more grateful for my life when I have come through the other side of some trial or tribulation. Life becomes more valuable when it was nearly lost. I am more grateful to be home after I have been away. There is something more convincing, more real and tangible about the beliefs that I hold when they have actually been tested.

This is not to say that I wish trials and tribulations on anyone. This is not a call to send your three year old to the Donut shop or to put your own life needlessly at risk, but this parable does lead me to wonder: how do we know we hold a belief unless that belief is actually tested in the world? Unless we have an opportunity to demonstrate it? It is that call for integrity that makes us Unitarian Universalists, a call for our actions and beliefs to be held together.

I attended Wesley United Methodist on 23rd and Classen when I was 12 or 13 and I remember distinctly the day I simply “woke up” in the middle of reciting the Apostles Creed, feeling as though I could no longer say it with any integrity. Many of us have similar stories of being presented with a concept of God that was too small. I needed a church that could hold the paradox and complexity of being human and being alive. I needed a concept of God and a church that could hold my questions and my experience, that could move beyond creed to see the humanity that fills the pews. I wanted a church home that valued me for the gifts that I bring, a church that recognized that I was not a mistake…but a gift. I wanted a home that I had no idea existed…institutionalized religious freedom.

Fredriech Buechner writes, “There’s no place like home. What the word home brings to mind before anything else is a special place that is clearly distinguishable from all other places. a place - which you have rich and complex feelings about, a place where you feel you belong and which in some sense belongs to you,” He continues, “ home is the place throughout your life you keep going back to…and which is apt to determine the kind of place, perhaps a place inside yourself, that you spend the rest of your life searching for even if you are not aware that your searching.”

When I search for the possibilities of God in the world: an all loving, all forgiving being full of hope and joy, I think of my dogs. I have two Angelou named after Maya, a 7 yr old black lab/greyhound mix and Cayenne my oldest: a 15 year old Basenji/chow mix.
Sometimes my dogs serve as the mysteriously silent but comforting presence for me. And sometimes, I wonder, “What if I were as devoted to something as these dogs are to me?” They are genuinely happy to see me without fail, all forgiving, doting even, always an ear out for my return, an example of love and grace. Where my dogs are is the place I call home.

Angelou, my youngest, developed a horrible habit for awhile. Every night around 2:30 in the morning she would whine for me to let her outside. So, I would sleep walk to the door and let her out, where she would walk freely from the door, off of the deck, and into her pen, and I would wait for her to do her business and come back inside. It made me very grumpy. I knew she couldn’t help it but it seemed personal at the time, like some plot to keep me exhausted. Even so, I forgave her every day, when I would wake up the next morning with her head lying drowsily on my leg.

One night, however, Instead of going directly into her pen, as soon as I opened the door she bolted into the woods. I lived on the edge of a Forest Preserve at the time,
so this is really THE woods: with deer, and opossums, and raccoons, and owls
…all sorts of great smelling distractions. I knew that she was not the brightest puppy in the pack. There was also a fairly busy road nearby…and, it was raining. I dutifully went outside in my robe, resentful and full of fear…calling for her, over and over in the rain.
eventually I went back inside weary eyed, drenched, and exhausted sometime around 4 am.

About an hour after I had given up, Angelou simply came home…wet and panting, tired from her exiting jaunt in the woods. I don’t know what whimsically makes a dog change her mind. She didn’t come home to my calling her. I had simply given up, sleepy and irrational, full of fear. I was imagining her sprawled on the pavement, when she simply arrived on the doorstep. I was so glad to see her that it was hard to be angry,
I dried her with a towel as best I could…and even allowed her back up on the bed to sleep.

In the parable, it is the son, too who decides to come home and the father who chooses to welcome instead of shun him. With historical context, we know that this son dishonors his father in the worst ways possible. He asks for his inheritance while his father is still alive and not even ill (an insult beyond all insults at the time). Then the son squanders part of the family’s land in a time when land was seen as God’s promise to the people. First century Palestinian convention would actually require the father to shame the boy publicly. Instead, his father rushes out to meet him and celebrates his return.

This parable is a response to accusations of Jesus dining with tax collectors and prostitutes. This story is about value, about everyone deserving a seat at the table, about everyone deserving a place called home. It asks us to look around and see who is not at the table and to do some of our own searching if we are playing a role in their not being here. The parable suggests that the seeking takes effort. It takes sometimes going against social convention. The welcoming home isn’t easy either. It takes forgiveness, and being willing to keep one eye out for the absent.

(If you will indulge me for just a moment…I did spend some time in southern Baptist churches….Turn to your neighbor and say Welcome home…Now since likely you turned to the person you came with, let’s try the other side, turn the other way and say Welcome home…)

You are welcome here. There is a place for you and your beliefs. There is a piece of the truth that you carry with you that is your experience, your story. If we are living the covenant that we recited this morning, not a creed, but a covenant: a living document subject to change and your reflection….If we are living that covenant, then there is a place for you here at the welcome table. Theist, agnostic, Buddhist or Christian.

Regardless of ethnicity, politics or sexuality, education or class, there is a place for you in this house of institutional religious freedom, if you are willing to risk.Oh…yes…I knew you were waiting for the catch. Maybe you were waiting for the evidence that proves all those fundamentalists correct:that we are some kind of cult of the question mark…But wait…The risk simply looks like this: along with institutional religious freedom, comes the risk of being in relationship.the risk of being vulnerable…of being responsible…of messing up…of being accountable…in your search for truth.

Are you home, yet? We’ve saved a spot for you…but this homeland might not look like what you’ve imagined….Here’s my take: Look over there is Grandpa George: he was in the service in World War II, his wife died last year. He begins his day at 4 a.m. reading the letters she sent while he was away in Europe. His family helped to found this church. He is fiscally conservative and politically liberal. And he can not for the life of him figure out why on earth kids today are putting their personal journals online, or why someone would describe themselves as pagan.

There is Sister Betty, She’s got a betting pool going at the bridge club here at the church about what color Eric’s hair will be next week. Betty’s been divorced three times and counts the days to her retirement (which is about 10 years away). Her oldest daughter just got her nose pierced, her youngest son is gay, and she’s scared to tell people here at the church that she still goes to AA.

There’s the Coopers. They don’t talk much to each other, but they always come to church together. Mrs. Cooper folds the church newsletter every month and Mr. Cooper’s in the book group.

There’s brother Jim, he’s a UU Buddhist but if you saw his shrine where he meditates you might think he worships John Lennon because there are just as many pictures of John as there are statues of Buddha.

And sister Molly, she sings in the youth choir and doesn’t really know what she believes but she loves to sing and that’s the closest she’s ever felt to being holy.
And then there’s Fred, he writes an editorial to the newspaper nearly every day in opposition to the war in IRAQ. He has been a humanist his whole life. Fred just can’t imagine why anyone with half a brain would ever use the word spirit outside of a bar.

Sisters Beth and Amy are over there, they just adopted a child from China. Beth is a breast cancer survivor and hasn’t talked to her own mother in years. Amy teaches Sunday school. They have a ritual of lighting a candle of gratitude before dinner every night.

There’s Mr. & Mrs. Johnson they’ve got a small house in Edmond and are buried in debt. There kids are away at college and even though they miss them they couldn’t be happier. They are organizing a church cruise.They’ll always volunteer to run the church canvas when no one else will.

Oh and there’s an empty chair here next to me….if you’d like, I am sitting over here. I didn’t even know Unitarian Universalism existed until I was out of college. I’d read Emerson and Robert Fulghum, knew all about the Elizabeth Cady Stanton, and Susan B. Anthony and had no idea that they were connected to Unitarianism. But when I walked into my First Unitarian church, much like this one, I knew that I was home. I knew that the people within the walls of this church…despite their quirks and eccentricities…got it. That there is richness in our diversity…That Religion is bigger than doctrine. They understood that we were all a family, not created by common blood nor the blood of a lamb rather, a family created by covenanting together to live out our lives in search of truth and to use our lives to make the world a better place. If we are living the covenant of this church, we are working to welcome the stranger as living members among us of the great family of All Souls.

Welcome Home! Where we are born again and again and again with each new day. Where each day is a gift, and we renew our commitment to hope. Where each day is an opportunity to make a difference with our lives. Welcome Home! Where Jesus’ radical message of grace and justice stand beside those of Ghandi, Buddha, Martin Luther King Jr, and John Lennon, Where the religious tradition is not carved in stone and your life speaks volumes and adds to our story.

Welcome Home! You’ve been away. Where’ve you been? We are so glad you are here. Whether this is your first time to a UU church or whether you have been coming your whole life. I challenge you today in our sacred communion of coffee hour, to approach someone whom you do not know and ask the question…Where have you been? How did you find us? That path is not always evident, but I’ll bet that the journeys are interesting.

Where have you been? We would never have known you were gone if it hadn’t been for the evidence. Tell someone about it. I am returning from a long time away from Oklahoma, returning to the town I grew up in, to a theism I once rejected. I have returned to a place where I can own the Jesus stories of my childhood in a new way.I have returned to the place where I belong and the only difference between longing and be-longing is the BE. We have to BE who we are, in a room full of others who are doing the same, share where we’ve been….tell our tale…

So, take a seat at the welcome table and get in on the conversation. We are so glad you are here. In this family of All Souls it is the Love that is the Glue that binds us together.Love is the doctrine of this church…and it is much easier to love someone when you know their story. In the telling and the listening is the inevitable paradox, that tiny piece of the truth of both the commonality and the uniqueness of the human experience.

Welcome Home!

That Glittery Feeling

2006-02-22T07:44:00.000-06:00

They were outside, at the airport, waiting for he shuttle
bus to take them to the car lot. Martha thought she smelled
the ocean already and was immediately excited. She breathed
in deeply, letting the feeling sink in. They would be...right
on the water, and every molecule, every atom knew it.

She called the feeling the glittery feeling, and she always
experienced it when they were this close...

The glittery feeling. She'd named it because it felt to her
as though her skin and everything beneath it briefly became shiny
and jumpy and bubbly, as if glitter materialized inside of her, then
rose quickly through the layers of tissue that comprised her,
momentarily sparkling all over the surface of her skin before
dissipating in the air.

Olive's Ocean- Kevin Henkes

*****

I love this passage because I have experienced that glittery feeling.
I love this passage because the last sentance is nearly a paragraph.
I love this passage because it is beautifully written and ignores the rules.

We should foster glittery feelings.
We should describe them at length.
We should break the rules.

On the journey together

2006-02-20T09:19:00.000-06:00

" Community.

Somewhere there are people to whom we can speak

with passion without having the words catch in our throats.

Somewhere a circle of hands will open to receive us,

eyes will light up as we enter,

voices will celebrate with us whenever we come into our own power.

Community means strength that joins our strength to do the work that needs to be done.

Arms to hold us when we falter.

A circle of healing.

A circle of friends.

Someplace where we can be free."

- Starhawk

******

"You know, there are three kinds of friends in the world.

An ordinary person sees only who you are;

for that you don't need a friend.

Then there's a friend who sees in you what you can be.

And then there's the real holy Friend,

and in the presence of this Friend you are already"

- Reb Shalomo Carlebach

Help me grow

2006-02-13T15:20:00.000-06:00

I just came from 10 days of a workshop that focuses on
how I am perceived by other people. This feels like a
natural extension as well as a reality check on the work I
have been doing.

If you don't mind

Thanks TP!

Habits of Happiness

2006-02-12T14:38:00.000-06:00

My friend Julie wrote this.
Enjoy!

Going Home

2006-01-30T17:11:00.000-06:00

I preached at First Unitarian Oklahoma City yesterday.
A true homecoming.
The All Souls Youth Choir performed as the music
They rocked the house.

Everything came together in that mystical way
that is so incredible...when it happens.

I am once again humbled by the process.

The first reading was this poem.
I wish all of you could have been there.

Poem to Old Friends Who Have Never Met

When I’m not wishing I could find a unicorn
I wish all my old friends knew each other
The very least they deserve
is the pleasure of each other’s company

We’d go down by the river
and the rocks would hum
with this rich collection of men & women

They would look around and see themselves
no longer isolated
no longer points in the darkness pointing nowhere
but as links in a magnificent chain of impossible flowers
girdling the world,

and their talk (they are all talkers)
would burst like spray in the sunlight
and I would smile, saying nothing
with a beer in my hand
and a small white bird banging in my heart.
— Peter Meinke

Compliments

2006-01-27T14:41:00.000-06:00

Someone said to me today:
Well, I wish you luck in your future.
Whatever you do...
Don't get de-frocked..
.
.
LOL.
.
.
I'm gonna work real hard to make sure I don't do that. :)

A Squadron

2006-01-24T22:15:00.000-06:00

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

The pelicans on Grand lake are migrating early.
There were two squadrons yesterday fishing sometime around dusk..

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

I knew gaggle, murder, cast, peep, but squadron I did not know.
Isn't the internet swell?

The sound of their landings and taking off from the water is
amazing

Ripples in India

2006-01-21T16:17:00.000-06:00

.
.
.
.

My friend is in India and I received this in an email today.

I lit a candle in a float filled flowers and sacred powers
and cast it into the Ganges for you as the sun rose over the
horizon. What a sight!

Know that you have been in my thoughts.

I wish you continued good fortune.

What a gift! To be alive and to know one another.

Hearts and Bones

2006-01-19T08:43:00.000-06:00

No one could ever paint a too wonderful picture
of my heart or God- Hafiz
*
*
Tell me about your heart, my every word says.
Speak to me as if we both
lay wounded in a field
and are gazing in wonder as our spirits rise.
-St Francis of Assisi
*
*
"Ultimately [leadership] is all about having
more genuine concern for the other person."
-Heart Centered Leadership: An Invitation to Lead from the Inside Out

Dreaming...

2006-01-18T07:13:00.000-06:00

I must be dreaming.
I woke up this morning to the usual
murmuring of NPR, when I heard the local
jockey plug the coffee house concert at
All Souls, in the middle of Morning Edition!

When I was in Dallas, I must have had this conversation
with the Sunday morning group 15 times until my
face turned red. I joked with them about what I have
deemed the "If-they-are-smart-enough-to-find-us,
they-can-come-mentality."

Why on earth is every church not plugging its programming on
public radio, when NPR is what most UU's can actually agree on?

Support Public Radio.

Hmmmm.....Time Mage

2006-01-16T21:41:00.000-06:00

find your element
at mutedfaith.com.

Thanks to Grasshopper Prayer

Quenching thirst

2006-01-16T09:36:00.000-06:00

What I am writing about now...

"As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so
panteth my soul after thee, O God." (Psalm 42:1)

Read a letter from Carl G. Young to Bill Wilson.

As Einstein Sees it

2006-01-13T10:01:00.000-06:00

Reading from The World As I See It

In his essay from The World As I See It, Einstein writes:

The fairest thing we can experience is the mysterious.
It is the fundamental emotion which stands at the
cradle of true art and true science. He who knows it
not and can no longer wonder, no longer feel amazement,
is as good as dead, a snuffed-out candle. It was the
experience of mystery—even if mixed with fear—that
engendered religion. A knowledge of the existence of
something we cannot penetrate, of the manifestations
of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty,
which are only accessible to our reason in their most
elementary forms—it is this knowledge and this emotion
that constitute the truly religious attitude; in this
sense, and in this alone, I am a deeply religious man.

I cannot conceive of a God who rewards and punishes his
creatures, or has a will of the type of which we are
conscious in ourselves. An individual who should survive
his physical death is also beyond my comprehension, nor
do I wish it otherwise; such notions are for the fears
or absurd egoism of feeble souls. Enough for me is the
mystery of eternity of life, and the inkling of the
marvelous structure of reality, together with the single-
hearted endeavor to comprehend a portion, be it never so
tiny, of the reason that manifests itself in nature.

Anniversary Flowers

2006-01-12T18:27:00.000-06:00

All Souls gave us these flowers,
chocolate, and a very nice card
for our anniversary.
Ain't that sweet?

We are so blessed to have each other...

and we are blessed to have
other people in our lives
who recognize
that we are blessed to have each other.

Thanks for all of the well wishings!
We both feel like bloomin' buds :)